I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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