Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize