The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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