Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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