Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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