I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize