Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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