And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
