shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
