Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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