Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
