Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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