I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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