You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
