Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
