we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
