saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I need a burrito and a hug.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
