i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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