I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
