I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize