Im at strip club and am horny
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
