As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
