i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
