Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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