If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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