I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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