I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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