So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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