i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
