i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
