I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I did not marry a roomba.
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