We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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