So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize