yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
