You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
