Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
