10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
