Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
