i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Do vagina's smell?
The best revenge is premature balding
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
