I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
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