...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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