from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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