Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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