The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
