i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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