I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
