I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
