You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
