Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
