I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
