Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
