so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
