Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm like, not good at living.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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