The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
