According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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