my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
