Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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