You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
