with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
