You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
