YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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