Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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