You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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