I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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