Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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